ok, so here is this. because in times of complete and utter emotional confusion, i try to resort to logic to guide my way.

i apologize up front for boring you and using this space as a whiteboard for my thought processes. maybe some of you will have some good insight when you see where my brain is at (p.s. thanks to those of you who have already weighed in with your thoughts. it's been really helpful. man, i wish i could call my dad and ask for his advice.)

Staying at my current company, in the new role they're offering me

Pros:
-absolutely adore the company.
-working here carries a lot of weight on a resume and makes me highly desirable in my industry. this company really is "best in class" for a writer.
-i have a genuine interest in and passion for what i work on. these are products i would buy even if i weren't working on them.
-I get to use macs for all my work, and I am surrounded by mac people (may not seem like a big deal to you, but it really does impact my job satisfaction).
-i'd be moving into an even more exciting area of this company, with insight into some of the most fun projects.
-i could keep my unvested stock options, which currently are worth around 80k. of course, i couldn't actually get that money in my pocket until i was vested, which happens gradually over the course of the next three years. Our plan was to use that for a down payment on a house in a few years. Of course, that requires the stock to stay the same or go up, which is always a gamble but looks pretty good.
-they seem to really really want me on this new team, to the point where they're "scaling up" a role that was supposed to be for a junior writer.

Cons:
- no work from home, which is a major loss for me.
- in interviewing for the new internal role yesterday, i spoke with who would be my boss, and also HIS boss. oddly, they were not on the same page about what my job responsibilities would be. this is a major red flag to me. when i pointed that out to the bosses boss, he didn't seem to think it would be a problem, but still.
-The recruiter was very up front that they wouldn't be able to match my other offer. i'd get a raise from where i am now, but the salary i'm being offered at the outside company is apparently higher than even the managers make here.
-i'm not clear on if there's a lot of room for growth. Possibly some, but it feels like it will be harder to come by than at the other company.

Going to the new company

Pros:
- Senior Inf@rmation Designer is a fairly impressive title. will look good on my resume, in that respect.
-the money is more than I realistically thought I'd be making at this stage of my life.
-the team seemed really friendly.
-the role is clearly very valued and important to the company.
-the infertility benefits seem to be even better than what I currently have, if I'm reading them right.
-there seems to be a lot of room for growth, and a clear career path to management if I want it.
-working from home is a part of the culture there. at least one day a week is normal, and lots of people do more.

Cons:
- my resume is starting to look like a patchwork quilt with all the jumping around.
-the title, while impressive, starts to take me away from pure writing. i'm a Senior Writer now, is the new title really that much more impressive?
-that 80k in options? that's a lot of money, man. i guess the gigantor bump in salary makes up for it?
-PCs. yuck. seriously, i'm sure this means i'm a ridiculous poof who can't hack it in the real world, but aesthetically pleasing workspace and tools are important to me. my current place is sheer bliss in that regard, and it keeps my creativity churning.
-my commute goes from 10 minutes to 20. i know, no big deal. but as long as i'm listing stuff...

Another important thing to consider is that I am intimately familiar with the reality of being in my current company, because i'm already here. so i know what sucks and what's difficult, and where the office politics are likely to be. it may seem like the other job is less sucky or less difficult, or less politick-y, but that could also be because i'm on the outside looking in. who knows what i'll find when i'm actually there?

omg, you guys. this is so friggin' hard. i need a beer and a masseuse, stat.