the office is a ghost town.

everyone took advantage of the mid-week day off and used some vacation time to get a long stretch of down time.

well, everyone except me. and one other guy.

so it's a low key time at work, which is mostly good. but awfully boring.

and for reasons i don't have the energy to write about, i am feeling more and more every day like my job will not be around for long.

it sort of makes you insecure when everyone above you flat out admits that they don't find your role valuable.

aaaanyway.

the other thing making me very sad right now is that i have marked yet another unsuccessful iui cycle.

i guess i'm making it sound worse than it is, statistically. i've had 4 iuis, 2 of which led to pregnancies. but none of which have led to a baby.

add that to the almost 25 other cycles of non-iui trying...and you end up with one big lump of hopelessness just sitting in my chest.

regardless, i got right back on the horse tonight, when i had my first shot of follistim for a brand new cycle.

hope springs eternal, even when it might also just break your heart in two.

i am so tired.